Lesson 2: Surprise, Surprise



Anna was a woman I used to work with. I had learned a lesson previously (not covered in this text) about not shitting where you eat, so when she told me flat out that she wanted to do wonderful and dirty things with me, I initially refused her advances.   (read more...)

Lesson 1: Three Sides to Every Argument



Somewhere around May of 1995 I met a girl we'll call Jordan on a MUD we both played. After chatting a bit, we realized we were at the same college, and had some common interests.   (read more...)



A friend asked me recently to tell her about my first D/s relationship.

I couldn't formulate the words to adequately convey the character of any of my earliest relationships, so I punted, and told her that I would tell her another time.

The problem, you see, is that there was a pattern. Or, at least, it seems that way to me. We'll get to that in a bit.   (read more...)

Lessons Learned


This was originally written as a single long essay, but I decided to break it into smaller pieces for posting here.

Chapter 5 - And running, and running...


Nine days ago was my one year Kinkiversary, and I completely missed it. Oddly, I was engaged in a completely unrelated set of debaucherous activities that day, but that's a different story.

Quite honestly, the past six months have been an absolute blur. Many parties, many events, many meetings, many dates and even a handful of states.

Here's a list of notable events, for posterity's sake:   (read more...)

Chapter 4 - Cup Runneth Over


Yesterday was my six month kinkiversary of being out in the community, and I just realized it a few minutes ago.

I attended my first kinky get together on April 18th (the first Boston Whip Practice), and yesterday I came home exhausted and happy from the first (but by all accounts, not the last) Connecticut GRUE.

Along the way, I've met throngs of amazing people and made many friends, and I feel like this is a good point for my ongoing saga to get an update.

So, here we are then.

My gut reaction to the past six months is simply, "Wow."   (read more...)

Chapter 2 - Conflict of Interest


How long can a man deny his nature?

I spent years pretending that it was just a fantasy - that I was really quite normal and that ropes and cuffs and chains and gags held no more meaning to me than a grade school crush.

I played the role of the nice guy, and I played it well.   (read more...)

Chapter 3 - Redemption in a Lady


During the years of 1998 through 2001, I worked an average of 80-90 hours per week. When I wasn't working, I spent my waking hours out with friends or surfing the Internet. My social life was fine, and my bank account was fine, but I had almost entirely eschewed relationships.   (read more...)

Chapter 1 - In the Beginning...


I think, in retrospect, I've always been kinky. It took me a long time to realize that I was, but elements of BDSM pervade even to some of my earliest memories.   (read more...)

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