Chapter 3 - Redemption in a Lady


During the years of 1998 through 2001, I worked an average of 80-90 hours per week. When I wasn't working, I spent my waking hours out with friends or surfing the Internet. My social life was fine, and my bank account was fine, but I had almost entirely eschewed relationships.

I was avoiding it, you see. Having lived in a vanilla world for so long, I had no idea how to find someone that would force my face into their crotch, or let me do so to them. I had so stifled that part of me, that the one time that I managed to go into Man-Ray (an oft-celebrated and unfortunately defunct nightclub), I looked about as comfortable as a 12th century peasant would be in a New York subway.

In 2002, circumstances led me to the banks of a sea of depression that I would swim for about three years. The reader will forgive me if I am circumspect about this time. I will say that at no point was I suicidal, homicidal or psychotic, and for that I consider myself lucky.

In 2005, a freshly minted outlook on life brought with it a romance. Not just a romance, but a romance with a woman who, despite her professional comportment, is a natural submissive. I shocked her during our first lovemaking when she said she was about to orgasm and I told her no. She shocked me by complying and holding onto it for ten more minutes of, if I do say so myself, highly effective stimulation.

It would not be an understatement to say that during our time together - if not at that very moment - I found myself. All of the before and all of the during suddenly coalesced into the "nosce te ipsum" after. It is without exaggeration the best gift I have ever been given, and one for which I will be eternally grateful.

That romance ended amicably in 2007 despite having fallen within a hair's breadth of marriage. After a little bit of time, and a few false starts at places like and CollarMe, we eventually arrive at the present.

And, looking around this community, what a wonderful present the present might be.